It began 2 weekends ago...Len, Deana & Christian set off to Ohio to the NFL Hall Of Fame and the opening game! I stayed behind and nursed a broken tooth. I had the opportunity to get together with Lori Perrin as she headed from Mass. on her way home to South Carolina. As always it was wonderful to see her and meet her grandson and a friend that was traveling with her. Very soon after I noticed a swelling in my left hand...the side my cancer was on, that I had 18 lymph nodes removed from. Hmmmm...we will watch and see. It became more and more painful and the swelling worsened.
However, I had a GREAT weekend with my oldest, dearest, bestest friend in the WHOLE world! Enie and I had not had a sleep over in quite a while and it was just like old times!! We cooked, we ate, we talked, enjoyed the weather...couldn't have asked for a better weekend...life is good when you are with the people that are most important in your life! Enie has been my friend since I was 4 and she was 6...God Mother to my children. There is NOTHING I wouldn't do for her!! We spent Friday to Monday together...and I did realize my hand was swelling more...but I set out to clean up and get back to work on Monday afternoon.
By Monday late afternoon it was pretty clear I needed to call the doctor...already knowing what they would say! No using the arm, keeping it elevated all day and night. No change, it needs to be seen. Well, Tuesday was a busy day for both of us in the office so I didn't call them back. Today it was still as bad so I called and they wanted to see me and agreed to get me in between our patients...Conclusion...inconclusive of course!! Had blood drawn from my port and had it flush while I was at it! Didn't have time for the Doppler so it is scheduled for tomorrow morning. So they think it maybe another blood clot. Not exactly what I was looking forward to! The thought of going back into the hospital or having daily injections again is not a pleasant one!
So, I guess it has been too quiet...things have been going smoothly...summer has been uneventful! Maybe it's the universe's way of keeping me on my toes!!
We have SO much going on right now that it is ALL I really want to focus on...We had planned to take a couple of short trips to Mass to see the NBA Hall of Fame and maybe Boston then a stop in Ct to see some family and perhaps Mystic Seaport. The following week we hoped head the other direction to Pa.
We also have so much going on with the foundation...We are hoping to get a meeting on the calendar for the second week of September to tie up all the loose ends for the Angels Among Us Event! We were invited to attend the Breast Cancer Awareness Photo Shoot in Ct. again and I am planning to be there October 7th, Several of my friends from HS and my family hope to join me. It is a great opportunity for Day By Day to get it's info out there and at the same time help another organization doing great work for breast cancer patients.
So, while some of the curves get old and tiring...I know I have SO much support and people pulling for me...it keeps me moving forward even on those day when I feel like I don't really want to! Like today sitting in that familiar chemo chair today, having that familiar cath inserted into my port, smelling the familiar antiseptics...I realize it is ALL VERY familiar...but you never really get "use" to it all...it makes me as stressed, nervous, anxious, fearful...as always! But I will still consider myself blessed as I consider others still in treatment or undergoing surgeries. Nancy, Aunt Barbara...my heroes...they keep moving forward. My inspiration!
Someone referred to me today as awesome...thank you Darlyn...but I don't consider myself awesome...I get bitchy, I get angry, impatient, short tempered...even when I don't want to!! Cancer has curve balls...just when you think you are out of the woods....bang! Sometimes it's difficult to ALWAYS be pleasant! When I see what this does to my family...the worry on their faces...I get angry. When I am unable to accomplish the things I feel I need to do....I get frustrated...
Okay...enough venting...I will have my tests tomorrow and let you all know how they come out...I WILL NOT complain tomorrow...just positive thoughts on life, family, this foundation....We have people to help...money to raise....changes to make!!
Thank you for all your support and prayers... Thank you Darlyn for all your support and kind words! Thank you to my family for waiting on me and putting up with my cranky self...this too shall pass!!
To all of you...consider this...there are others out there dealing with this same type of thing (and much worse) on a daily basis...wouldn't you like to help ease the burden cancer places on a family...the only way we can...day by day!